Saturday, 1 December 2012

I am in love with my best friend. What should I do?

(solution to a relationship problem by Sartur) 

You have mentioned that she has feelings for you but carries a lot of baggage. 
Let me tell you some points: 

- You are not confident. 
- You keep your career above your love. (which is a good thing) 
- You are scared that she might say no. 

All these things above are normal; from the point of wooing, the steps are:

- Real wooing begins after the proposal. 
But the question is if it right from the point of your love. This blog is flooded with posts about wooing, but you have to know that wooing needs a lot of time and dedication. It's not a moment's thing. So if you have a career to look after, I'd suggest you take care of it right now and keep your friendship intact with her. 
What you can try is: 
- Tell her scary stories about guys - stuff like how disgusting guys are and what guys of today want from girls and blabla. 
- Scare to such limits that she never may talk to any guy. 

This way you secure your place in her life. A time will come she would naturally fall in love with you - because she is talking to you whenever she wants to talk to any guy and this thing will transform into a habit. 
And after when you are stable with your career, you can take your chance. And I hope you are above 22 right now. If you are just between 17- 20, then don't think it's love. There are a thousand girls you have yet to meet. 

Step II - Use confused composition. 
If you think you want to woo her right now, then you can use this method. If you read this blog, then you can find it easily. 

 in short -
1) You become really good friends with her, in fact, best friends.
2) You wait for that magical day when things would seem the best.
3) After enjoying that time, you go home, and message or mail her that You have fallen in love with her.
4) You tell her that you sorry, and you feel terrible about breaking her trust, and blahblahblah.
5) You can no more stay friends with her, because she is no more a friend to you but the dearest person in your life.

6) She'll be confused and argue about why do you want to end the friendship?
7) You tell her because it won't be the same anymore, and you are very serious, so lest she wants to be in a relationship with you, this is goodbye.

The genius of this plan is that you are her best friend; so you have left her with no choice to discuss this thing but with you. The only person she wants an advice from is you. Second, you are being totally selfless here by walking away from her, which she cannot understand to deal with. Third, and the most important, you are not to give her any time to think. That doesn't mean that you don't leave her alone, or hang up the call, this means days to think. If you do that, everything will be ruined, she'l pretend like nothing happened and everything is normal, and pretend like normal friends again. You get one chance, and that in it the whole game lies, but if you have to give her time (which happens in only extreme cases), give her time, but constantly message her re-assuring and what is tempting to make her fall in the relationship. The thing is, when you will have pulled this off, she'd be very confused, and also she desperately doesn't want to lose you. So now the time comes to show her the light, tempt her by telling simple facts such as I love you so much; and I know if you come into my life I'll never ever ever ever ever hurt you for a moment. I am going to keep you close, so so so close to me that you wouldn't know if it is day or night. Such messages are cute, and at this delicate situation double and triple their effect. All you need to do is: send her messages as such, which will convince her, and she'll come to you. It works 100 %.
The only reason she can say 'no' is if she is secretly committed to someone and has been hiding it from you.

Note: The most important thing, again, is you don't give her time. Let's suppose you have messaged her at 19:00, you get reply back before you sleep - doesn't matter if it is 4 A.M. in the morning. 

(If you have any relationship problems or queries, please post here and you'll be replied with a detailed answer)

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