Tuesday, 11 December 2012

My girlfriend is young and impulsive. How do I control her?

(solution to a relationship problem by ROHITMEH09@GMAILcom)

You have to understand a few things before you take on to some approach on how to solve this problem. As you have mentioned she is young and very impulsive, many a thing done in impulse are not conscious choices of a person; for example, like you have said that she tends to say that she wants to break up and later apologize about it.
 The problem is not how to control her, the problem is how you control yourself and how much these impulsive statements of her affect you! 
I'll take all your problems and solve them for you, your first problem is she fights too much. 
Generally, every guy:
- tries to reason with his girlfriend
- Apologizes 
- wastes his precious time in explaining to her what it really meant, and why she shouldn't fight about it, and how much pure the bond is as a couple, and blahblah!
- fights back and both have long-lasting verbal battles. 

What you should do is: 

If she has a valid point; if you have really committed a mistake which you know of, and were prepared to face this call, then listen to her and kindly apologize. 
But if she has misunderstood something, or is wrong at her part: 

Just close your mouth, and listen as closely as you can. Let her complete the entire thing, so you can carefully choose your points, and understand what she actually wants to say separating it from her blahblah (talks which show how disappointed she is/ how much embarrassed she was/ how much angry she is). When you would do that, you'll realize that she took 15 minutes to complete what could have just taken one sentence to be said.

2) Don't ever clash. 
Break-ups happen only when two parties clash, but they would never happen, if only she is angry, and you are not. Guys think they cannot reason with girls, but that is absolutely wrong. You just do it in the wrong timing. Don't clash just immediately contradicting her statement because she went out of line, or what she said was not at all true. Control yourself. Let her finish, and keep nodding as if you are attentively listening to whatever she is saying - which also you are.

3) Once she is over, take the points down. 
Once she is over complaining or whining. Your sentence should start with: So what you meant to say is, you have the following problems, (and one by one, in points, list down all the problems from her words). When you will do that, she'd be confused. The basic reasons behind this:
- She had never actually formed her points, before she came spilling out of her mouth.
- She never expected this, all she expected was winning and you shamefully apologizing. 

4) Once she is confused, gradually put her down. 
This would give you enough confidence, time and points to easily put her down in front of you and show how idiotic her whining was. The conclusion would be that out of 100 %, only 20 % of what she complained about was true and plausible. You can show this to her and lecture her on how she should behave the next time she has any problem. Tell her that she needs to first think from your point of view.
Now, this is a great way of showing how you can control things, and gradually such a habit can make you win every fight. You win fights not because you are smart, but because you kept your calm and didn't become all chaotic. Talking about manners and proper way of communication is a sign of dignity and respect.  

(Post your relationship/ dating problems for detailed solution within 12 hours) 

What to do if your Ex- Girlfriend is creating problems for you?

Having an ex-girlfriend around your girlfriend can be pretty harmful for your relationship. (more on this


Your solutions can be:

- Be friends with her. 
But you have already lost that chance now, anything amiable right now would just appear for the cause of your current relationship.

- Get her wooed by your friend. 
If you can, if you know some player, then do get her wooed by some guy who can play tricks for you. Having a guy who she is with on your side can change the entire game.

- If you don't have the aforementioned, target her boyfriend. 
A dude, no matter what, always understands another dude's problems. Beg borrow try everything, but make her understand through him.

Try to show her that you are really x 3 serious for this girl. 
Doesn't matter if you are or not, acting that you really are can get you somewhere, as girls are very emotional.

Before she can infiltrate your Girlfriend with facts that will make a difference, you do that. 
Destroy her if you can, tell her already the stuff she is going to say about you; so that when she tells your girlfriend stuff about you, she hears 'He has already told me that'. In this case, somethings are really embarrassing, but if you fear that she might use them, then don't think twice. Just change the entire context of the stuff she is going to say about you, and tell her in a manner that it really looks okay. Try to press on the fact that because you both were together, you were absolutely honest and truthful with her, and now she is doing this to you.

Make up stories that will make your girlfriend hate her. 
If you have to save your relationship, do anything you can. And this could be one of your great weapon. The point is you cannot keep your girlfriend close to her forever. Because you might satisfy her once or twice or thrice, but the ongoing issues will seriously affect your relationship. You have to, at any cost, separate them.

- Show up at her place often to meet your girlfriend. 
This would irritate her beyond limits, and would start to grow anger in her against your girlfriend. Always remember, even though she might be with someone else, a girl never forgets the treatment she got from you and always compares it with the succeeding girl.

- Show extra love and care in front of your ex.

If you treat her better, or just show that you love and care about her more than you ever did with your ex; you have simply struck a home-run there. She would be so agitated and confused that she might either close your chapter forever, or break the friendship with your girlfriend. 

I am in love with a Girl on Facebook. How do I get her?

(solution to a relationship problem) 

First of all, you do not woo a girl on Facebook. What you do is become good friends with her. That's its limit. If you want to woo this girl, then you'd have to know and be friends with her personally. Facebook can arrange for her number, and that's how far it goes. 

What you do is: 
1) You talk to her and get her number. 
How do you do that? 
It can be done in many ways: 
-- You tell her there's a purpose behind talking to her - professionally or intellectually. 
-- You can make up a story of how you are struggling in your career (anything artistic) and you need people (close friends with a good taste) to check your work and tell you if it is good enough or not. 
-- Chat with her often; develop a friendship and naturally obtain her number. 
-- Tell her that you're making a band and you need a female vocalist. 
-- You're very interested in what she is doing and want to know more about her work. 
-- You are a counsellor and want to solve her problems. (if she is those problem stuck chicks)

The reasons can be plenty, all you have to do is think.

2) After you get the number, message often but call less.


- Don't message at all but when you talk, make it mind-blowing that she gets compelled to call you again. 

That totally depends on if you are a good-talker or not. All you need to do is to entertain her on the phone, show a little insight about her, pretend as if you completely understand her mind. 
Get some really mind-blowing stories about you that would keep her pre-occupied thinking about how awesome you are! 

how to become friends with a girl quickly?

When you talk to a girl and it is going to be a long conversation, it is obvious that the conversation has to revolve around other people. If you don’t share any mutual friends, then it’s a boon because you have whole new stories to hear. The more you talk, the more pleasant it is; but the things you should remember are:

- Don’t criticize anyone 
- Joke as much as you can, but don't lose the direction of the conversation. 
- Let's say you are very creative, and you creatively engage her with your humor and story-telling, but when it's over, Do remember to bring her back to the point again. 

(You can be direct with above-mentioned conversation too) 

Guy: Tell me about that friend of yours. I have noticed her looking outside the window during the class, I think she has an interest in flies. Just Kidding. 

(Making fun of the third person (female friend) is important because you don't want to give an idea that you might be interested in her and that's why you are asking, even though you just wanna strike a conversation. 

Also, talk about her Guy friends:

Boy: And how many guys are there in the list of your good friends? 

If she asks 'why are you asking me that', you can say: 

Boy: I am just checking if you are not a sexist, hoping you treat the poor male species fairly.
Boy: No no no. I am not thinking that. I totally believe you are straight. I was just asking!
Boy: Come on, be a sport, Don't apply the Sherlock Holmes' brains on my simple question, Just answer. 

Things you avoid: 
- What are you doing? - What did you do the whole day?
- What did you eat?
- Did you have your lunch/ supper?
- So, what now?
- Why don't you ask me anything? (that's the end of your relationship)

Here is the stepwise way of having one conversation that will change the entire course of your relationship:
I - You talk about her friends. 
Girls NEVER mind to talk about this, to them, it's general talk. The secret behind this is, you are not talking about weather or sports, you are talking about her life. Such a talk will give you a LOT of understanding of her mind. Secondly, she will tell you a LOT about her friends, all you need to do is device a good pattern of questions so you don't seem to run out of new questions. Some examples are mentioned above. 

II- You immediately change the topic and get directly into her private life.
Why do you do that? There are two reasons behind this:
- First, by talking about her friends, you have subconsciously involved her in an activity of revealing stuff to you - intimate or general. Because of this continuing activity, she can't take control and stop sharing stuff, which she has been doing for past 15 - 30 or 45 minutes (depends on how creative you are).
- Second,  you just have one conversation PLUS you don't want to sound boring PLUS your real wooing starts from here.

There is a 20 % chance she might say: 'I don't wanna talk about it', which generally doesn't happen if you are playing your cards right; but if she does, start telling her about your made-up relationship, and how sadly it broke off and how cute it was. If you do that perfectly, she will answer your question.

Now all of this should take up to 1 hour and 30 minutes, anything less would mean you are doing it wrong and speeding it. Time is the key.

What to do when a Girl rejects you?

After being rejected by a girl, there are two directions: either you continue wooing the same girl, or you get over her even if you are emotionally involved with her. But before you take any of the ways, I need you to understand a simple thing: Not any girl in this world just says a yes to your proposal; secondly, Always remember: A girl doesn't have a clue what she wants, which is why players easily turn the No into a yes. 

So the supreme thing you need to understand is Game; what is your strategy? What is your cover strategy if she rejects you? Most guys don't think that far, they just play with the opportunities different times provide them. 

What you need to do in order to woo her? 

Step I - You become friends (obviously) 
You study what she wants, the kind of guy she desires. There are two ways in wooing: 
-- Either you become that man. 
-- Either you change what she wants. 

The second is easier and more likely. You don't need to change her views about something; you just have to be suitable. Take help from this-

How to become friends with a girl quickly?

But if you get rejected, try to find the reason: 

- Was it some guy? 
- Was it some problem in you? 
- Was it some issue she had with her past? 
- Is she not ready? Was it too soon? 
- Family problems? 
- Ex - boyfriend issues?
- Does she want you to try harder?
- Is she confused?
There could be many reasons, and one approach cannot be the answer to all of these problems. You have to find out why you got kicked out? And only then you can plan your next strategy; only then you can restrict that part of you and show her that you are changed, or maybe explain that what she perceived was wrong...or anything. 

Important Note: Whenever a guy asks a girl to be his Girlfriend, the answer to that question does not determine their relationship any more. They eventually get romantically involved from that given moment, even though how hard they might pretend to be friends. This does not mean that the girl falls for the guy, but it means they aren't friends any more, if not lovers. In this situation every step forward is a victory: 

- If you are still a friend = Victory. 
- If you get closer = Grand Victory
- If you become her best friend = more grand Victory. 

The above mentioned change happens because this time she is in the conscious awareness of the fact that you have romantic feelings for her, and despite of this fact if she is letting you come close to her, then every step is a Victory. 

(If you have any relationship/ dating problems, post it here and you'd be replied with a detailed answer within 12 hours) 

How do I get her phone number?

(solution to a relationship problem by rohitmeh09@gmail.com)

You problem sums up three different problems: 
1) First, you like this girl, but are unsure if she likes you or not. 
2) Summer holidays, and she is unreachable, which makes you worried if someone else might snag her. 
3) You don't have her number. 

How do you get a Girl's phone number? 
Let us say, it's just about the number, in how many ways is it possible? 

1) You chat with her often. She likes you and vice versa, and it happens. (the most common) 

2)  You chat with her, ask her what she does, and after she tells you, you go crazy and type - "what? really? I don't believe this!!", then you ask more about what is she doing in that field such as - college, which year, work, et cetera; and when she asks you 'why are you so interested?', you reply:
- To be honest, I was actually looking for a _____ (whatever she does) for my newest book...and I am completely awe-struck right now. 
- I was just reading about _______ (whatever she does), and I found you guys so awesome. It's such an honor/ It's so great/ it's absolutely exciting to meet you. Tell me more about your work!
- (if you are earning) Well, actually a friend of mine just happens to be in this project (link it with whatever she does and make it as big as you can) 

3) Search her friend, pick the most romantic movie of all times and copy paste the most effect-making dialogues from that movie in front of her, be a gentleman to her, and you'll have it. 

And there are many more, but in this problem, they are not needed. 

Furthermore, because you have no time as waiting for her to come back can be pretty risky, I suggest you look for two things: 
- See if she comes online on facebook/ messenger often or not. 
- A friend of hers who is reachable. 

You'll have to play the confession game with her, be as ultra romantic you can be in front of her friend, don't be cocky. And because now she will be prepared and aware of the fact you have feelings for her, your just saying 'That I want you to be my girl', or 'I love you', or ... won't be enough. 
Dazzle her with a surprise, like write her letters, or a song for her, or anything that will surprise her romantically. 

Ps: If you can, write her letters on Facebook, so when she opens her account, she gets surprised that all this while you were missing her and your letters will do the rest. (Just pay some writer- friend to write you 10- 15 awesome love letters) 

Saturday, 1 December 2012

I am unable to speak in front of Gorgeous Women. What should I do?

Your problem is that you get stone-cold silent in front of hot women, despite of being a good talker otherwise. Now let me tell you a few facts: 

- This happens with every guy. 
- This can be overcome easily. 
- It is true that there is a lot of pressure when you are in front of a Girl you want to impress. 

To overcome this problem, you have to understand a little thing about wooing. You see, wooing or womanising is step-wise. You do not- in fact no one in this world- impress a Girl who is 10/10 in your first attempt. Every guy fails, but in each attempt you get better. 
Always remember: Even the greatest womanisers get rejected a LOT. But it's the victories that count. Also, you shouldn't be disheartened if one hot girl rejected you, there are countless of them; so that moment can be lived, re-lived and won over many times. 
The second fact you need to understand is- since you have a problem in speaking to women - that you have to master this weak point. 
How do you do that? 
Like I said, womanising is step wise. 

1) The first thing that you need to do is get a girl. Get any girl - a friend, co-worker, anyone. 
2) Be friends with her; and talk to her a lot. Talk about everything. But do not make her your sister, be friends only. 
3) With each day, you'll gradually become free of your fears, and would be able to talk to women at every level. 
4) And finally when you meet a Gorgeous woman, see if you can talk to her naturally or not. If you can't, think in your mind if this Gorgeous girl were to be your same friend, how would you talk to her? And you'd be able to make a conversation then.